Take a deep breath if you were worried, because Alan Greenspan’s not dead. A bizarre death hoax floated around that the former Fed Chair kicked the bucket, leaving Twitter extremely confused.
Despite persistent rumors hitting Twitter this morning, former chair of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan, 92, did not die. The news of his certainly alive status was confirmed by his reps and wife, NBC News correspondent Andrea Mitchell, shortly after the hoax made the rounds. “By now you know the rumors are a hoax. Alan’s doing great. In fact he has a new book out next week!”, Andrea gleefully tweeted. So, what the hell happened? The news of Greenspan’s death was extremely divisive, with some Twitter users mourning the economist, and others seemingly celebrating his demise. Alas, 20 minutes later, everyone found out their reactions came a little too soon.
“BREAKING NEWS: THE BODY OF ALAN GREENSPAN HAS BEEN FOUND ALIVE.”, one cheeky person tweeted. “so long Alan Greenspan, hope you enjoy burning in hell with your beloved Ayn [Rand] for all eternity… actually, scratch that, they both should be freezing in the very lowest layers of hell as traitors to the people,” another detractor chimed in. Ouch. Someone put it in terms that Greenspan could understand himself: “Alan Greenspan isn’t dead. Allow us to Greensplain it to you: Rumors of demand decline in personal equity do not factor in current consumption of consumable products, particularly in the oxygen market space, which would indicate no loss of vitality in trending mobility issues.” Clever!
It’s unclear who started the death hoax, or why. Of all people, why would the former chair of the Federal Reserve, who left office 12 years ago, be the target? Typically, more relevant celebrities are the victim of these hoaxes, not economists. All that’s certain is that Twitter’s trending algorithm is a legendary troll. Some are suspicious that Greenspan himself, or at least his camp, could be behind the hoax. The signs are apparently in his wife’s tweet. Is it a coincidence that he’s back in the news a week before his new book gets published? They think not.
“Alan Greenspan died for 20 minutes so he could find out which one of you snarky bastards was going to talk shit about him and then he came back to life to exact his revenge,” one person tweeted. “if ever there was a way to promote a book this has got to be it. Link to order?”, someone tweeted in response to Mitchell’s denial. Hmm…
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