Duchess Meghan And Prince Harry Will Not Be Showing Off Their Baby In A Traditional Royal Photo-Op

Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry are not going to feed into your strange desire to see their newborn baby three seconds after the kid is pulled out of her. It was reported that Meghan was thinking about having a home birth and it looks like that’s happening. It’s also been confirmed that you will all just have to wait to see what that scrunched up, crying, lump of person looks like after it violently fights against leaving the comfort of Meghan’s womb. Because once she gives birth, Meghan has no intention of getting into hair and makeup and parading the newborn in front of you.

Vanity Fair reports that Buckingham Palace has sort-of confirmed Meghan’s home birth while also letting the people know that they can all eat dirt if they think they’re definitely not seeing this baby once it’s born. It’s Meghan’s baby and she’ll let you see it when she’s good and ready. The Palace gave this statement:

“The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are very grateful for the goodwill they have received from people throughout the United Kingdom and around the world as they prepare to welcome their baby. Their Royal Highnesses have taken a personal decision to keep the plans around the arrival of their baby private. The Duke and Duchess look forward to sharing the exciting news with everyone once they have had an opportunity to celebrate privately as a new family.”

But Meghan isn’t giving up the ho stroll completely, she’s just circumventing the usual timeline. A source in the palace says that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will pose with the… Prince of Sussex? What’s the baby’s title? Does the baby get a title? Well they’re going to pose with Sir or Lady Baby after it’s born and you will see the photo:

“It will probably be within a few days of the birth, but there is no time limit… It will depend on how the birth goes and how the Duchess is feeling.”

This may all feed into the: “THE QUEEN hates Meghan because she keeps wearing black nail polish”-narrative but the tradition of showing off the royal baby was actually only started by Prince Charles and Princess Diana who showed off Prince William after he was born at the hospital, which was also new because normally the royals gave birth at home. THE QUEEN gave birth to all her kids at Buckingham Palace. So Meghan is jumping into the old tradition and birthing that baby at home. However, she did slight THE QUEEN a little by going with a different OB-GYN team. I guess she would rather doctors who aren’t used to working on a 92-year-old vagina? (I know you’re probably going to delete this joke Michael but I had to leave it)

Meanwhile, in America: the suburban-woman’s goddess, Oprah Winfrey, is telling you all to leave Meghan the hell alone. Oprah is working with Prince Harry on a series focused on mental health on Apple TV. She appeared on her boo Gayle’s show CBS This Morning to talk about it.

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