Lauren Goodger reveals the moment she met Nikki Grahame before Big Brother fame and opens up on her panic attack

Lauren Goodger is the former TOWIE star everyone's talking about.

Not only because she's finally got her happy ending and expecting her first child, a baby girl, with boyfriend Charles Drury this summer, but also because her no-nonsense opinions and glamorous life constantly keep people guessing. The mum-to-be is now our OK! VIP columnist and won't be holding back when it comes to keeping our readers up to date with her journey to motherhood.

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OUT THE OTHER SIDE

I spoke out this week about my hospital panic attack and I'm glad I did, because pregnant women don't tend to talk about anxiety. I got myself into a state, but since speaking to other mums and midwives, they say, "We hear this all the time." It came over me so unexpectedly. The worst thing I did was go to the hospital on my own in the heat and in a rush. When you have a panic attack and you have anxiety you feel like you're having a heart attack. I don't want it to happen ever again. And since that episode I've actually been OK. But I'm very hormonal at the minute – I can feel it. I've never suffered with periods before, so I'm not used to it. I'm angry, emotional, happy and scared. I had an appointment with a midwife this week and everything's fine. They checked the baby and the size of the bump and the baby's growth and I like going because it's reassuring. Deep down I know the baby is going to be perfect and I'm going to be happy and I know that everything is going to be alright. I'm just coming up to the final hurdle now.

FEELING BEAUTIFUL

Now the lockdown restrictions are relaxing, I've had a lovely week making the most of places being open. I had my eyebrows threaded and even went for a blow-dry! I like to have my hair done, because it makes me feel so much better. I've got every Dyson hair product you can think of, but I still can't do my own hair! I also had a lunch date with my friend. It was lovely to have a catch-up. I can't wait until Charlie and I can go out for a bit of dinner.

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BABY ON THE MOVE

I've felt my baby girl moving around for about five weeks now, but Charlie felt her kick for the first time this week! I put my hand on my belly and Charlie put his hand on my belly and she was kicking really hard. And he was like, "Oh my God!" It was really nice for us to experience that together. It was a really beautiful moment. She's very active!

NIGHT, NIGHT NIKKI

I was so sad to hear the news about the passing of Nikki Grahame following her battle with anorexia. I met her once before she went into in a restaurant in London – in the ladies' toilet! She was very over the top and we had a chat, so it was a shock when I saw her in the Big Brother house. We never crossed paths while I was in the public eye, but I've found her death so sad. Again, it's mental health. So many things can trigger it. She was so funny and I'm sending love to her mum and family.

GETTING READY

I've been sent some lovely clothes for my little girl, lots of cute little bits. I can't remember the last time I bought something for myself. I need to get some plain baby-grows, because she won't be able to dress up every day. Her wardrobe is going to be amazing! I'm still waiting for an update on moving house, but I can't wait to get in and get everything sorted. I also finally got the buggy of my dreams – it's so practical. I bought it from a shop called Babycare of Dagenham. It was lovely to go baby shopping and I really enjoyed it.

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