It took Hayley Williams going through tumultuous times with her band Paramore to realize that she was struggling with her mental health and that her marriage was in shambles.
“I woke up from that crash with one less bandmate… another fight about money and who wrote what songs. And I had a wedding ring on, despite breaking off the engagement only months before,” Williams, 29, wrote in an essay for Paper magazine.
“A lot happened within a short time. But then I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t laugh … for a long time.”
The couple announced their breakup last summer.
Williams’ bandmate, guitarist Taylor York, would send her music to write lyrics for, but she found herself unable to do so, saying everything she came up with sounded “like someone dead in the eyes.” The silver lining, however, was that writing dark lyrics such as “You want forgiveness but I can’t give you that” made her realize not all was well in her own life.
“But writing kept me alive. Forced me to be honest … It helped me understand that emotional wellness and physical health are actually related,” she wrote. “It helped me realize that I shouldn’t have ever married my ex [New Found Glory lead guitarist Chad Gilbert] and that love is not something we can just extract from one other.”
After Paramore released its latest album, “After Laughter,” Williams found herself getting back in a healthy headspace after years of “torment.”
“I’m alive to both pain and joy now. I have my old laugh back, as my mom says,” she shared. “The one that takes over my body and sends me out of myself for a few seconds. And only a couple years ago, I had hoped I’d die.”
Source: Read Full Article