What 'The Bachelor' Can Teach You About the Worst Things to Say on a First Date

Beyond being a platform for former pageant queens to gain social media followings, The Bachelor is a dating show. And while the over-the-top hot-tub-in-the-middle-of-nowhere dates can verge on ridiculous, there are some actual dating lessons to be learned by watching these unfairly beautiful singles.

Here are the best and worst first date conversations to have, based on episode 2 of The Bachelor.

Best: The confidence that comes with age

Who brought it up: Elyse

Oh boy, there was so much age shaming this episode. A huge portion of the show revolved around calling 23-year-olds “children” and anyone over 27 a “cougar.”

Only one conversation took a positive turn in talking about age, when Elyse shared her growth from the lessons she learned in her 20s. Star Colton Underwood said he noticed that she has “this presence, this confidence” because of that. Talking about age and life experience in a positive way on a first date is wonderful!

Worst: A person’s virginity


Getty ImagesRick Rowell

This season has been ALL about Colton’s virginity, from bringing comedians on to joke about it, to every promo wondering when, where, and with whom he will lose it. Despite the numerous virginity references, this is not good first date conversation. Unless the person brings it up, get to know them first! If Colton was allowed to talk about anything else on the show, the audience may actually learn something about him that pertains to his day to day life. For instance: What does Colton do to make money?

This is not to say you shouldn’t bring up intimacy issues. You should! It’s a healthy part of any relationships! But wait until you actually get to know the person.

Who’s watching @BachelorABC right now?! What’s the “virgin” count at so I can prep my grandma?

Best: Why your family is cool

Who brought it up: Nicole and Courtney

Nicole opened up about her twin brother, AJ, who has autism. Colton was supportive, saying it was clearly “something that’s helped shaped” her. Later, Colton noticed that Courtney was a leader during the Bachelor camp games, and she explained that came from having a lot of siblings.

Colton knows both women better now, because they opened up about family, instead of dancing without music or saying the word “vulnerable” over and over again or any other number of Bachelor favorites. The takeaway? If you ever get stuck on a date, just talk about the people closest to you.

Getty ImagesRick Rowell

Worst: Blowing horns and banging on pans

Who did it: Onyeka and Sydney

If you’re trying to woo someone, loudly banging on a pot to get their attention doesn’t scream romance. First, Onyeka went in with the horn saying she was “HORN-y”; then, Sydney got revenge by banging on pots and pans. While this made for entertaining television, it didn’t cue the romantic music. Instead of pots and pans, try on a first date going for a light chime or a gentle flute to get their attention. (But for real: Here are some great ways to capture your partner’s attention on a first date.)

Best: Everything Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman and Billy Eichner Did

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The best part of episode 2 of The Bachelor was the lineup of comedians that came in with snarky commentary. Nick asked Colton if he planned his post bedroom end zone dance, Megan insisted Colton was falling for her and Billy made Colton giggle like a schoolchild with questions about one night stands. If you’ve got the gift of gab, use it on a first date! You may not win awards like these comedians, but it will help break the ice. And if you don’t have a funny bone in your body, at least be ready to laugh like Colton was!

Best and Worst: Talking about nerves

Who did it: Everyone, to varying degrees of success

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In high pressure situations like a first date, it can be easy to talk about nerves. Sometimes admitting anxiety can be positive, like when Katie shared feeling jittery and Colton comforted her with a kiss.

The problem is, the more you think about nerves on a first date, the more nervous you become. At one point, Hannah B. had talked herself into such a nervous frenzy on her date, that she wasn’t even able to give a coherent toast, saying, “To this amazing day, and, yeah, Roll Tide!” While Hannah B. was able to redeem herself and explain her fears, most first daters aren’t as lucky.

Didn’t she get the memo?? 🤔 #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/SwNpYj1gkd

Nervous for your next first date?

The good thing is, most first dates don’t happen in front of 10 million people. The pressure is way off. You just get to watch all the mistakes made by symmetrically-faced people who date each other on television, and hopefully not make the same ones.

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