Ever since I was told that I was adopted, my life has fallen apart

Now I class myself as having no family at all.

I am 28 and two years ago I discovered my parents adopted me as a baby.

They later adopted my “brother” who is two years younger than me but we are not actually related either.

We no longer speak because of the stress of all this.

I searched paperwork from social services and found out my real mum didn’t want me, though she kept two older kids and a baby she had after giving me away.

I pretend the older kids don’t exist but I feel the younger one is my true half-brother.

My parents could have adopted him too but chose not to. I need to know if he’s OK but can’t find him.

I got married last year and wanted him there as he’s my only family.

It was a nice day but my wife has loads of relatives and I felt stupid and alone.

These are supposed to be the happiest years of my life but my problems are destroying my marriage as my wife cannot deal with my depression and stress.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry your parents weren’t better advised, as being honest with you from childhood and adopting your half-brother would have made such a difference.

Try not to write off the care and love they have shown you – nor reject your wife’s love now.

And don’t assume your biological mother gave you up for adoption because she loved you less than the others.

She was probably facing tougher circumstances around the time of your birth.

For support and advice on tracing your brother you can contact After Adoption (afteradoption.org.uk, 0800 0568 578)


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