The five biggest sex myths busted by a sexologist

Duration isn’t always related to pleasure and there is no such thing as a sexual ‘peak’: The top five biggest sex myths busted

  • Sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein has busted some of the biggest myths around sex
  • She argues that for some sexual pleasure depends on how long it lasts in total
  • And for others it’s actually the women, not the men, that have the higher drive
  • There is no such thing as a ‘sexual peak’ and intercourse can get better with age 

There are certainly some old wives’ tales around when it comes to reaching orgasm and whether ‘bigger is better’.

But most of the time the answer to whether they’re true or not depends on what kind of sex the individual enjoys.

In an effort to weed out some of the more startling facts, sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein has decided to bust the myths that aren’t backed up by facts.

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There are certainly some old wives tales around when it comes to reaching orgasm and whether ‘bigger is better’

Myth 1: That sexual pleasure is dependent on how long the sex lasts

Is longer necessarily better? Is bigger even better? These are factors we look at when it comes to sexual satisfaction. 

‘For some people, duration matters and for some it doesn’t. About 75 per cent of males surveyed by Prolong agree that duration plays an important role in sex, while 43.2 per cent of women say duration is important to them,’ Dr Goldstein told FEMAIL.

‘However many people are also looking for pleasure outside of sex. In fact, 49.2 per cent of women surveyed say that when it comes to sex, they care more about other elements like foreplay and oral sex than intercourse. 

‘While duration isn’t the be all and end all, for some couples it can be a sticking point. If it’s affecting your relationship, there are options to address the issue.

Sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein (pictured)

Myth 2: Porn sex is good sex

We often look at porn as a form of role modeling when it comes to sex, as though if we can copy what is done on screen, sexual satisfaction will be at a high. 

‘But the survey uncovered 22 per cent of men feel a sense of inadequacy about how long men last in porn. But even porn stars don’t have sex at home like they do on screen,’ she admitted.

‘So why is it so many are aiming for that? Porn is not meant to be an instructional guide by a form of sexy entertainment. Would you learn how to drive a car from watching a car chase scene?’

Myth 3: Women don’t want sex as much as men do

This belief sometimes stems from a feeling that women are more difficult to please in the bedroom and therefore don’t have the same desires as men. 

‘But often it’s a case of women not understanding what they want, sexual boredom being a factor or the social pressure around women that tells them they shouldn’t want sex as much as men, otherwise a word that degrades their sexuality might be used,’ Dr Goldstein argued.

Myth 4: Men are responsible for women’s sexual pleasure 

Have you ever heard terms like ‘did he give her an orgasm?’ Well, 31 per cent of males think ‘women are hard to please when it comes to sex’. 

‘Women are often brought up to believe that it’s up to a man to deliver her sexual pleasure but don’t take ownership of their own desire, needs and satisfaction,’ she said.

‘This not only puts a lot of pressure on a man but it also doesn’t see women ever taking control of what they want in the bedroom.’ 

Have you ever heard terms like ‘did he give her an orgasm?’ Well, 31 per cent of males think ‘women are hard to please when it comes to sex’

Myth 5: That men and women have a sexual peak

We are a society that is hooked up stats and numbers when it comes to sex. But what does it mean to have a sexual peak? 

Does that mean you last longer in the bedroom, are more energetic, have more sex in a week? 

‘Often as we age, we get to know our bodies better and understand what it is that turns us on,’ she explained.

‘As we get older, sex might not be as frequent or energetic but it might be more satisfying.’ 

‘Often as we age, we get to know our bodies better and understand what it is that turns us on,’ she explained

Why do these myths and misconceptions still persist? Why is it hard to break down these barriers?

We are still a society that doesn’t talk too openly about sex on public platforms. 

These myths that circulate don’t get a real chance to be busted in the mainstream. We seem scared to talk about sex, but it’s these open conversations that will benefit us as a society.  

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