DEAR DEIDRE: I’M racked with guilt as I did something so stupid – I slept with my ex – when I have a new girlfriend who I’ve completely fallen for. What is wrong with me?
My ex is the mother of my daughter and when she ended things with me, I was devastated for months.
It all came out of the blue and I pestered her to see me but she refused.
It got to the stage where she stopped taking my daughter to my mum’s and point blank refused to let me see my child.
My ex is 34 and I’m 38.
I had my family to support me but after months of feeling rotten, I met somebody new online.
She’s wonderful. She’s 31 and helped me get over the trauma of a bad break up.
My girlfriend moved in with me during the second lockdown and I thought that this was it.
I was out for a walk with my girlfriend recently and my ex passed me, pushing the pram.
The look on her face was utter heartbreak.
She messaged me saying she regretted everything and practically begged me to go back to her.
I didn’t give in to her pleas, but when she said I could see my daughter, I thought it wouldn’t do any harm as I was desperate to see her.
My daughter was asleep when I arrived.
My ex poured me a drink and said she was devastated that I’d moved on.
We both admitted our faults but then she burst into tears.
I always hated seeing her cry.
I held her in my arms and then she kissed me.
We had sex on our old sofa. I left straight afterwards, feeling so terrible.
I’m over her now so why did I let my guard down?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Because you’re a human being who made a mistake and we can all do that sometimes.
She got to you when she cried and all of those feelings of love and protection came flooding back, but in the cold light of day you’ve realised this relationship is over.
You need to speak to her and explain what happened was a one-off.
It mustn’t happen again.
You’ve moved on and so must she – but you’d like to arrange proper contact with your daughter.
Find support in doing this through Families Need Fathers (fnf.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).
Telling your girlfriend about what you did may relieve you of the guilt but it will ultimately bring misery to you both.
My support pack Feeling Guilty? will help you to find some emotional support.
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