I told my wife I spent the night in jail but I was actually having sex with another woman

DEAR DEIDRE:  I TOLD my wife I’d been arrested and was in a cell sobering up when I was actually having sex with another woman.

I am 37, my wife is 34 and we’ve been together for 15 years. We have a boy aged 12 and a girl of nine. I love them both to bits.

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I met this other woman two months ago when our firm decided to shut a city-centre sales office because of Covid and she started working from our office on an industrial estate.

She’s only 23 but we clicked at once. I told her how I feel two weeks ago and, to my surprise, she feels the same.

That evening we decided to go for a drink after work.

I felt so comfortable and relaxed with her despite all the rules and restrictions.

When it was closing time she asked if I’d go back to her place for a drink where, she said, “we won’t have to be socially distanced”. Then she smiled.

I couldn’t say no. Of course we ended up having sex.

It was amazing and it was again the next morning. I’ve not had lustful morning sex like that ever.

My wife had been messaging and ringing my phone non-stop but she knew I’d gone out drinking — thank goodness she hadn’t called the police.

I told her I’d had far too much to drink, that the police had been called because people weren’t social distancing when they came out of the pub and arrested people left, right and centre.

I said that a couple of blokes had turned nasty and so the police had charged them but let the rest of us off with a warning.

She seems to have believed me but I do feel guilty.

I can’t bear to leave my kids but I’m in a dead-end marriage and this other girl is driving me crazy.

I want to be with her 24/7. I’ve not felt like this in years.

My lover is pressing me for a decision.

Do I risk everything with a girl I’ve only just met or stay in relationship that is going nowhere for my kids?


NOTHING is wrong sexually between a couple so long as they both enjoy it and nobody is harmed.

But one partner’s fancy might horrify the other.

My leaflet Kinky Sex Worries can help you find a happy compromise.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t possibly know whether a relationship with this young woman would work out after one night of sex, no matter how hot, and don’t kid yourself that it wouldn’t hit your children hard.

Tell your wife your marriage has hit a crisis point and put all your energies into trying to sort it.

You might have fallen out of love but you can fall back in too. My e-leaflet Your Relationship MoT can help.

If it really is curtains for your marriage, end it decently and do your best to be as committed a father as you can be.

But don’t assume you will enjoy happy-ever-after sex with this new girl. The signs are she is not yet ready to settle down.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My elderly 'friends' phone me non-stop and it's making me feel hounded in my own home

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Cliff admires Janice's lingerie while she's out with her mum

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