I'm ready to ask my girlfriend to marry me – but she has started staying out late and I'm getting cold feet

DEAR DEIDRE: I’m about to propose to my girlfriend but lately she’s been acting differently.

We’ve been together for three years, have bought a flat together and talk a lot about our future. I’m 28 and she’s 26.

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About eight months ago, I started saving up for an engagement ring. With nearly a month’s salary, I bought her a gorgeous diamond ring and have even invited her dad out for a pint.

I’m pretty traditional and want to ask his permission first.

But over the past few weeks, my girlfriend has started to act strangely.

She was never one to socialise with colleagues but after a leaving do last month, she now goes out at least twice a week. She’s coming back late and pretty tipsy too.

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She doesn’t seem as interested in our plans for holidays or weekends away. I’m worrying I’m losing her to someone else.

Does this mean I should hold off proposing, or should I pop the question even sooner?

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DEIDRE SAYS: It means you need to have a genuine conversation with your girlfriend about the differences you have noticed.

There is no point hurtling into an engagement without addressing these issues first.

Ask how she is and explain you feel she is more distanced from you. Say you would like to reconnect.


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I am sending my support pack Looking After Your Relationship to help you both.

Don’t pop that question until you feel confident in your relationship.

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