I've told my boyfriend he has to leave if he can't quit the drink and drugs

DEAR DEIDRE: I DESPERATELY want my boyfriend to be a part of my life but I can’t let him near our son if he won’t quit the drink and drugs.

When we met four years ago, he was clean. He was training to be a boxer so he really cared about what he put into his body.

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But a bad injury last year meant he couldn’t carry on.

He got really depressed and started smoking weed and drinking a bottle of spirits a day.

He is 33, I am 28 and our son is almost two.

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In August, I kicked him out of the flat we share after he disappeared for three days. He had been on a bender with mates, leaving me alone with the baby.

I have told him he can’t move back in until he’s clean. But he won’t do it on his own.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Unless he actually wants to stop, you can’t force him.

But showing him you are serious with your ultimatum might give him the push he needs. Don’t let him back in until he has quit both the drink and drugs.

I am sending you my support packs Problem Drinker? and Drug Worries? which list organisations that could help him.

Also approach Adfam (adfam.org.uk), which supports partners and families in your situation.

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