She had my baby without my support.
She’s now living in New Zealand with her aunt and I never see my child, which breaks my heart.
I’ve tried to explain all of this to my current partner.
I’ve talked about feelings and consequences, but she doesn’t want to listen.
All she can think about is free love and wild sex whenever the mood takes her. She says she doesn’t have to have my consent to go ahead, but she would like it.
But how can I refuse when I’m currently bringing nothing to the party?
I’m not even a good lover at the moment as my confidence has gone through the floor and my libido is waning.
I can read her like a book and know she already has her first conquest all lined up – a guy she works with.
They’ve been flirting for ages and he’s keen to take things further. She’s even talked about letting him stay over during the week. I feel like I’m drowning.
JANE SAYS: It’s good of your girlfriend to support you at this difficult time. But, as you’re discovering, there’s no such thing as a free lunch.
She may be keeping a roof over your head, but she wants something in return – your blessing to sleep around.
She knows you’re weak and vulnerable so she’s pushing her luck.
But what I don’t understand is why she needs your go ahead in the first place?
If she’s as strong and independent as you suggest, why isn’t she off doing her own thing anyway?
My worry is that she likes having you at home doing all the cooking and cleaning. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, but you can’t allow her to push you around.
You’ve got to find the strength to stand up for yourself.
Tell her this wild idea isn’t going to happen. This guy isn’t getting into your bed or staying over. Ever.
Get friends and family to help you to find a new job and believe in yourself.
If your girl does decide to pull the rug from under you, move on with your head held high.
There is life beyond her and you will flourish again.
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