Man tells wife he’s refusing to do any housework until she stops being ‘mean’

A man who complains that his wife doesn't ask him to do chores 'nicely' has been slammed online after revealing the extreme length he is going to in order to prove his point.

The unknown husband faced a wave of criticism after taking to Reddit to complain about the situation.

Asking for advice, he said is currently refusing to do any housework due to the ongoing argument.

Meanwhile, his wife of 12 years is looking after their four children and doing all the housework, while also working part-time.

Unsurprisingly, the man received some short, sharp advice on how he could improve the current situation.

He wrote: "My wife and I have been together 12 years and have 4 kids.

"The youngest is 2, and since she was born, my wife has been nothing but cold and sometimes downright mean.

"It's not just ppd or whatever, she sees someone for anxiety and takes medication.

"I work a 9-5 job, I'm the breadwinner, she works part time from home (currently I'm still out because of corona, the first time I haven't worked in 25 years) and she raises the kids and does the housework. This has always been our arrangement.

"After the 2 year old was born my wife got increasingly nasty about putting more chores on me, more demanding, and would get ridiculously nasty towards me over it.

"She would call me lazy for sleeping later on my own days off, she would get angry with me for being sick when I'm sick (she says because she doesn't "get" sick days, but she doesn't have to leave the house if she's ill.)

"She tries to manipulate me by saying she doesn't like me anymore or saying she wants a divorce, and that's crossing a HUGE line with me.

"You can't say that kind of thing to make people do what you want.

"And now it's even worse that I'm home all the time, because she wants me to do a lot of her regular work now too.

"I think it's rubbing off on the kids because when she asks them to do their chores they say stuff like "why doesn't DAD do anything" so I'm sure she's talking to them about me behind my back.

"I decided that nobody who treats me like this deserves my help, and that I'm not going to do any favors for someone who says they don't love me and tries to hurt me just to get me to take the trash out or whatever other thing.

"I'm still getting paid right now, so I'm contributing my income as we've always done.

"You can't say you want a divorce and expect me to do half your usual chores.

"So now stuff is starting to pile up even more and she's getting even nastier, but I'm holding my ground.

"I told her she has to start treating me better if she expects that.

"But she told me that I'm an asshole and that it doesn't matter how we get along when it comes to doing what I "have to do" (her words not mine.)"

In a follow-up comment, he added:" And people keep saying I should be doing chores but I'm not asking if I should do chores, I'm saying I don't think I'm an asshole for not doing it if she is mean to me instead of asking me nicely for help ."

One person responded: "You have 4 children in 12 years so I'm guessing one in that pre-teen phase, one 2 years old and probably not toilet trained and 2 in between.

"Your wife is right that she doesn't get sick days. She probably hasn't had a day to herself since the first child was born and, given how children are, she's probably lucky to get to use the toilet without company.

"And there's you without a job so you're home every day doing what?

"You're not helping her with the household chores (not "her" chores, chores that need to be done to keep the household running) so maybe you're being super helpful with the children, though I doubt it."

A fellow mum raged: "Your wife is "at work" 24/7. No, she doesn't get sick days.

"She may not have to leave the house but she still has to deal with four kids, make meals, and take care of the house.

"Baby wakes up six times at night? Her job, right? At this point it'd probably lessen her workload to divorce you and do it all herself.

"Oh my gods dude. It wouldn't kill you to do some dishes in the evening or sweep a f****** floor. Because you live there too. You're supposed to be partners.

"You wanna stay married? Get off your ass and be a f****** adult. Signed, a stay at home mom."

Another dispensed some helpful advice, replying: "I’m going to come at this from a bit of a different angle.

"She doesn’t have the right to talk to you like that, you are correct AND she doesn’t know how else to tell you anymore that she needs help and doesn’t feel valued.

"Both exist here, one doesn’t negate the other.

"If you still care about your wife and want to work this out then I would suggest you talk to her about how you value her.

"One of you will have to break down and concede otherwise a divorce is imminent."

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