My ex is ignoring our grown-up son who wants to spend time with him

My ex is 50 and lives with his girlfriend and her 19-year-old son. My son has heard he treats him like his own, taking him to football and so on.

He is so upset about it. He tries to keep in touch with his dad but my ex ignores his messages.

Is my ex trying to get at me through him? We got on well for years until I found a new partner. Should I intervene or stay out of it?

DEIDRE SAYS: I doubt you can act as an intermediary but you can coach your son.

Rather than just message his dad, he could ask him out to do something specific, saying how great it would be to see him. He may have to be persistent to get a date but then make sure it is a fun day out.

I know it is asking your son to be the adult here, but it doesn’t sound as though your ex-husband understands emotional responsibility.

My e-leaflet Standing Up For Yourself can help and he can find support through The Mix (, 0808 808 4994).

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