DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though my fiance left his partner for me, he still puts her feelings first.
We got together after an 18-month affair and have been official for two years. I am 34 and he is 38.
He is the love of my life and incredibly kind and supportive, but he goes out of his way not to upset his ex over our relationship, even if it means hurting me and my son.
He won’t tell his ex we’re getting married, and is still paying half her mortgage – which means we can’t get our own place.
He has asked me not to go to a particular pub because she works near there and might bump into me.
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I understand that he is being respectful to her, and I feel sorry we hurt her, but surely it’s time everyone moved on?
I am starting to doubt our future.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your fiance clearly feels guilty for cheating on and leaving his ex, and is trying to make up for it.
While it shows he’s decent, he shouldn’t be doing this at the expense of your relationship and both your futures.
Explain how much this is hurting you. Say you need him to be more open with his ex and he needs to address the mortgage situation – can you both see a financial advisor together?
My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, will help.
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