My mum is a selfish narcissist and is making our lives a misery

DEAR DEIDRE: OUR lives have been hell ever since I allowed my mum to move in.

It was the worst decision I’ve ever made. She convinced me she couldn’t take care of herself and I reluctantly agreed to let her live with me, my wife and son.

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She makes unhelpful and spiteful comments about everything.

If things don’t go her way she gives us the silent treatment or portrays herself as a victim who isn’t wanted. She’s 71.

I’m her 40-year-old son, my wife is 36.

I’ve noticed my mum is playing mind games with our ten-year-old son. She accused him of being thick because he couldn’t remember his times tables and he cried for days.

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If my son refuses to do anything with his grandma she’ll say he doesn’t love her.

But my mum just denies everything and says I misunderstand.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your mother is a narcissist and unlikely to change.

This is damaging for your son. You need to establish ground rules with your mum but if she won’t comply, tell her you will have no choice but to rethink her living arrangements and you’ll be looking at alternative accommodation for her.

My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you to talk to her without it causing a row.

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