My wife didn't come home after her office party and I'm convinced she cheated

DEAR DEIDRE: I COULDN’T sleep a wink when my wife didn’t come home from her office party – as I am convinced she was having sex with somebody.

She has always been a high-flyer and got a job in a bank at the age of 18, climbing the ladder until she was earning way more than me.

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We have been married for six years. I’m 35, she is 31 and we have a boy of two.

When our son was born, I stayed at home and she went to work because it made financial sense.

She put on weight during her pregnancy and then when lockdown happened, we both piled on the pounds.

My wife then secured a new job, running a department in a large bank.

She made new friends and loves working there. But I’ve noticed she has become more distant.

Also, she’s made the most of her gym membership, working hard on changing her body shape and drastically dieting and exercising.

On the other hand, I am the heaviest I have ever been, which is getting me down. But then I comfort eat and feel worse.

When the work party happened, she didn’t pick up her phone once. All I got was a text, insisting she’d had too much to drink and was going to collapse on a girlfriend’s sofa.

I don’t know if I believe her.

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She admitted recently that our relationship needs some work and the reason why she doesn’t want to have sex is because of my weight.

Has our relationship run its course?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Do not let go so easily. You have both got different priorities – your wife with her career and you have your son, who needs you.

You may feel you can’t compete but are doing a great job too.

Both of you need to appreciate that your different roles can make a stronger team.

You have to keep talking to get over any bumps in the road.

You have no proof that your wife is cheating on you.

She is, however, distracted and has admitted your relationship needs work. These are both strong indicators that you need to invest in each other.

Find a time when your child is in bed to cook a nice meal for her and to talk about what you can do to improve what you have together.

If you want to do exercise to lose weight, feel more energised and confident, then gyms often have creches available.


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My support packs, Relationship MOT and Reviving Your Sex Life, will help too.

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