Are you guilty of ‘orbiting’ your ex? The new post-relationship stalking technique that’s worse than ‘ghosting’ – and most of us have done it
- There are a number of intricate dating trends rearing their heads in 2018
- Following on from ghosting, ‘orbiting’ involves staying in someone’s social orbit
- But even though you’re liking and viewing their posts, you never speak to them
- It’s particularly damaging for people who are not yet over their ex-partners
People can behave in strange ways when they’re faced with the prospect of forming a romantic connection with someone.
But when things fall apart you’re left with buzzwords like ‘ghosting’ – disappearing seemingly out of the blue – and ‘gaslighting’ – a form of manipulation – which describe some individual’s nasty behaviour.
The latest word to hit the dating scene is that of ‘orbiting’, which was dubbed by a writer at Man Repeller.
It involves staying in someone’s social media ‘orbit’ by liking and engaging with their posts, without ever actually reaching out for a genuine chat
It involves staying in someone’s social media ‘orbit’ by liking and engaging with their posts, without ever actually reaching out for a genuine chat.
Instagram Stories is a particularly dangerous tool of the chronic orbiter, who can check in on your daily happenings – all the while knowing you’ve ‘seen’ their viewing of it.
Some sneaky people will even ‘ghost’ a partner only to come back into their orbit months later by way of Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter stalking.
Signs you’re being ‘orbited’ by someone
- They are one of the first people to check your Instagram Stories.
- They ‘like’ your photos on Facebook but never comment on them.
- They will retweet your Tweets but never reply to your DM’s.
According to Popsugar, it’s a dangerous way of keeping up with what your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is doing without their knowledge, but if they find out it could be disastrous.
‘You should ask yourself what you’re hoping to achieve,’ the publication said.
‘If staying informed about their life makes you feel better about not having them in your life anymore, that’s one thing — but it might be holding you back from living a better life without them.’
I’m back! Some sneaky people will even ‘ghost’ a partner only to come back into their orbit months later by way of Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter stalking
Dating expert Persia Lawson, from the BBC, warns that while you might be optimistic your ex is looking for a way back into your life by viewing your Throwback Thursday photo, these people should come with a warning label attached.
‘Just don’t be available for it… If it’s making you feel obsessive and crazy, block them. You’re wasting your time, and there are other people out there who want to spend time with you,’ she said.
This particular phenomenon has also been described as ‘haunting’, with FEMAIL speaking to Australian sex expert, Nikki Goldstein, about how it can impact your online – and offline – life.
Dating expert Persia Lawson warns that while you might be optimistic your ex is looking for a way back into your life by viewing your Throwback Thursday photo, these people should come with a warning label attached
‘Haunting comes out in two different ways – when an ex is purposefully popping up in your lives or they’re looking at your social media,’ she said.
‘The downside of technology is you can haunt someone so easily. The introduction of a like or a click can really unnerve somebody.’
Dr Goldstein said that there was a difference between simply wanting to catch up on someone’s life and haunting, which is more targeted.
FEMAIL spoke to sex expert, Nikki Goldstein, to shed light on the dating phenomenon
‘Haunting is quite a negative word. If you’re curious about what they’re doing I don’t think that’s a bad thing,’ she said.
‘But haunting is as if you’re taunting them, saying “yeah I can still see what you’re doing”. It’s being more active and liking and commenting on their photos.’
When it comes to what is considered being haunted in real life, it all depends on your interaction with your ex.
‘If there’s no bad blood and you bump into each other it’s fine, but if you see them and they purposefully ignore you or bring along a new partner to rub it in your face, it’s a move to show you that they think you’re not worth them anymore, it’s a spiteful way to get back at somebody,’ Dr Goldstein said.
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