If you’re shouting, you’ve already lost.
When we get angry, it’s natural to want to react quicker and raise our voices.
But this often doesn’t help us get what we want.
Yelling, shouting and screaming are all signs of a temper tantrum a child might have, but what if you’re the parent falling into this behaviour trap?
Parenting coach Tia Slightham shared a video on TikTok to help those who jump towards yelling when their children are misbehaving.
It’s well known that people switch off and disengage when being shouted at, so she has a much better technique to get your child’s attention.
Her tip is actually – unexpectedly – to do the opposite and whisper.
Why? It’ll surprise your children and spike their curiosity about what’s happening.
She says: ‘When you feel like you are going to explode, when you feel like you are going to lose your mind because your kids are not doing what you need them to do and you’re blowing up and exploding like a bubbling volcano, your kids don’t hear you.
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‘They just go into fear mode. Their cortisol levels increase, their stress increases and they go into fight or flight. They’re not going to do what you need them to do.’
Instead of yelling, she says: ‘Try this trick. I want you to whisper instead of yelling.
‘So when you feel like you’re going to explode, take a deep breath, and say it quietly.
‘Your kids are going to hear you and they’re going to be like “Whaaat? My mum has two heads. What’s happening here?”
‘They’re going to be intrigued and they’re going to listen. You’re going to feel so much better as a parent with way less parenting guilt.’
It won’t work with every child, as some people in the comments shared they’d tried this with little success.
But the principle of finding ways to engage with your child without shouting still stands – so it’s worth trying this technique.
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