How on-trend is YOUR sex life? Tracey Cox reveals the five moves currently in fashion – and why we’ll all be doing ‘The Snake’ and having sexbot threesomes within a decade
- Sexpert Tracey Cox reveals the five moves currently in fashion in the bedroom
- Unveils three acts we’ll be trying in the future, including high tech threesomes
- Predicts missionary style will become popular again as people seek intimacy
Sex never goes out of style…or does it?
Like everything else in life, our sexual tastes change as the world does. Your Mum and Dad’s favourite position is unlikely to be yours, 20 years later – or is it?
Here’s a look at what we used to get up to in bed, the sex positions currently in vogue – and how you’re likely to be doing it in the future.
Hang onto your headboard – or sexbot!
Tracey Cox reveals the five sex positions that are most popular right now – including the sideways 69er (stock)
THE SEX POSITIONS WE LOVE NOW
We live in a highly sexualised society that’s increasingly permissive but we’re also in the midst of a sex recession.
Young adults are starting to have sex later and doing it less frequently than other generations.
Millennials are too busy worrying about whether they’ll get a job or on the property ladder to bother with sex. An addiction to social media means they’re also sleep deprived – and body paranoid.
When they do have it, millennial sex is low-effort sex – which explains why one of the current sex position favourites is for masturbating.
We might not be having lots of sex with others but we’re having loads of it with ourselves! There’s been a dramatic increase in rates of masturbation from 1991 to present day: rates are double for men and triple for women.
In an uncertain world, the old-school mandate of being tough with yourself feels wrong. Now, it’s all about self-love and self-care.
Instead of lying back on the bed for solo sex sessions, lots of women now masturbate lying on their stomach, propped up on their elbows watching something sexy on their phones.
Often, they’ll hold a vibe between their body and the bed, pushing hips forward into the mattress for increased pressure.
Reflecting a lazier attitude to sex, the demanding, standard 69er has been flipped on its side to make it easier and unchallenging.
Both lie down on your sides, heads facing each other’s toes, and rest your heads on each other’s thighs. Add some pillows to provide further support.
It’s a simple variation – lying side by side rather than one on top and one underneath – but it takes all the tension out of your necks. Because it’s more comfy, it also means you can both settle in.
According to research by sex toy retailer Lovehoney, two-thirds of all couples still use the missionary position the first time they have sex. But the next position chosen is inevitably doggy style.
In the past, humans would have sex in the doggy position so both of you could simultaneously keep an eye out for wild beasts.
Tracey Cox reveals that ‘self love’ is one of the most popular sexual activities right now and says rates of women masturbating have tripled since 1991
These days, it’s because neither of you want to miss out on screen time while you’re binge-watching a box set.
Forget the bed: If there’s no kids around, people are much more likely now to have sex in the loungeroom.
Forget getting on all fours as well, today we favour leaning over the armrest or sofa back, so we’re cushioned and comfy.
If we’re not fantasising about who’s currently on screen, we’re thinking of sex with other people. One survey of 20,000 people found 94 per cent of men and 90 per cent of women fantasise about sex with other people while having sex with their partner.
Not everyone falls into the ‘can’t-really-be-bothered’ camp.
Those of us who are having lusty sex are embracing it wholeheartedly.
MeToo# women are taking control in the bedroom as well as out of it – and keen to show off a body that’s as honed and powerful as their generation.
Women-on-top has always made it onto the top five favourite positions list: the Lovehoney survey put it as the second most popular for men and women in the UK.
But the old version of you resting on your knees has been replaced by a more primal, athletic version.
He rests on his back, knees bent. You squat on top of him, feet flat on the bed and use your legs to lift you up and down.
Not only do you have more control, it showcases those Instagram ready Herculean thigh muscles.
A nod to our super healthy vegan-driven lifestyle is the increase in popularity of yoga-inspired sex positions.
He sits cross-legged and leans back against a wall, using his hands for support. You then kneel over his lap, gripping him with your thighs for balance and lower until he’s penetrated.
It’s easy to add clitoral stimulation and the position forces you to rock rather than thrust: a far more effective way to orgasm plus you’re in charge of speed and depth of penetration.
WHAT WE’LL BE UP TO IN FIVE YEAR’S TIME
Virtual reality porn stars. Sex robots. Ever more realistic life-size sex dolls.
Future sex – like most things – is set to be technology led.
Highly realistic 3D sex games are not that far away (you can already create an avatar and have sex with other avatars) and PornHub has already been experimenting with virtual reality.
The sexpert also revealed three sex trends which will become even more popular in years to come – including reverting back to missionary sex
SO OLD SCHOOL…
Twenty years ago, this is what got us going…
Filming ourselves: In the old days, you’d have to send things off to strangers to get developed and recording devices were expensive. A newly digitalised world turned us all into porn stars and directors. Celebrity sex tapes were everywhere – ‘1 night in Paris’ starring Ms Hilton was released in 2003, followed by the equally infamous Kim Kardashian sex tape in 2007.
Popping Viagra: Viagra unleased itself on the world in 1999, resurrecting older couple’s sex lives. It took about ten minutes for partying bankers to discover it wasn’t just for oldies and the perfect solution for erection issues caused by too much booze or other recreational drugs.
The CAT technique (Coital Alignment Technique):
I wrote about this in my first ever sex book Hot Sex: How to Do It, published in 1998. All us sex experts were super excited about it! This new way of having sex claimed not only to increase the chance of intercourse orgasms for women, it also upped the odds of experiencing simultaneous orgasms.
It’s a variant of missionary, with the man ‘riding high’ so his erection points down instead of up, one side of his penis pressing against the clitoris. Instead of thrusting, the couple rock together in a choreographed dance, keeping pelvises close.
Great in theory but most found it way too difficult and ditched it after one or two attempts.
The Wheelbarrow: This was the first flash, show-off sex position to be adopted by your average couple. He stands, holding her underneath her thighs, her legs behind his back, while she balances on her hands. It needs lots of upper body strength on her part, good back and leg strength on his and is (rather sensibly) now filed in the ‘too hard/why bother’ basket.
Some of us will embrace this sex revolution enthusiastically, others will rebel against the distance and lack of intimacy it brings and long for the sex that was.
Which is why this position is unlikely to ever lose the popularity it has maintained for centuries…
Missionary-style sex won’t just be about craving more intimacy, high tech sex toys will do a lot of the work for us. We won’t need to seek variety through different positions, so we’ll all revert to the least effort position of all.
Frequent terrorist attacks and Trump-style leaders who terrify rather than fill us with hope mean an upsurge in sex positions that relieve stress and anxiety.
The Snake is more like a ‘sex hug’. You lie on your stomach, your body stretched out across the bed. Your partner lies face down, on top of you, entering you from behind, covering as much of you as possible.
You’re stacked closer than pancakes, with full body contact. The focus is on feeling protected: the threatening outside world melts away, leaving you both in an intimate sex bubble.
It’s speculated that by 2050, human-robot sex will be more common than human-human sex.
Good news for lonely people who find it hard to form sexual relationships – and good news for bored couples who want variety but don’t want the jealous fallout that happens when you invite other humans into your bed.
There are already robot brothels in China, Japan and Spain. It won’t be long before sexually adventurous couples will be investing in good-looking sexbots.
Just the thing when one of you wants sex and the other doesn’t and to experience the excitement of a threesome, without fear of one of you running off with the person you’ve chosen.
Check out traceycox.com for more information on sex and love and her product ranges.
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