Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

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Your Sexoscope for the week of April 5–April 11:


Happy birthday! This weekend you’re the star of the show, perfectly channeling your fiery attitude and shine bright, drawing in all sorts of hotties. You can expect fast-and-hard hookups Friday night, and slow, sensual morning sex on Saturday that makes sure all of your needs are taken care of!

Mercury Retrograde’s bad juju is finally wearing off, so now your real birthday celebrations can begin! Friday’s all about having fun and getting your rocks off but come Saturday morning, your mind wanders more in the direction of slowing down and taking this flirtationship seriously. Don’t stress—a big talk on Tuesday finds your thoughts on the matter being received well by your partner.

You’re competitive and domineering and definitely wear the pants in the relationship, especially this weekend! You start Friday off hot-and-bothered, feeling adventurous in bed, but by Saturday morning you’re more in the mood for relaxing with your boo for a Netflix and chill session. Your week is busy, but Wednesday night’s atmosphere is deep, intimate, and romantic—perfect for a memorable date night!


You’re not in the mood to go out this Friday, so any hot action you run into is in the form of playing with yourself. You’re feeling more yourself by Saturday, so there’s plenty of opportunity to find your next love affair! You have serious chemistry with your next hookup and you form an insanely intimate feeling connection, so catching feelings is all but guaranteed.

If you’re hooking up but haven’t DTR yet:

Friday night finds you needing space, so hanging out with your playmate is at the bottom of your list of priorities. You’re back to normal on Saturday—calm, gentle, a little needy, and constantly a little horny. The week goes one of two ways; either you decide you really like this person and want to commit, or you fall for a completely new face! Either way, you’re feeling a LOT of emotions!

You’re uncharacteristically moody on Friday night, but your partner knows not to prod you too much. You wake up totally refreshed on Saturday, and can look forward to fooling around and having some A+ morning sex. This week, introducing something (or someone!) new opens your eyes to how much you need more variety in your sex life, and inspires you to explore your kinky side!


Your libido is fired up on Friday night, and you’re making tons of new connections in the form of Tinder matches or new connections at the club in search of a hookup. True to your non-committal stereotype, by Saturday morning you ghost and wanna block their number! Thanks to this ejaculate-and-evacuate sitch, don’t expect any lasting lovers this weekend.

This weekend you’re playing hard to get and opt for hanging out with friends instead of spending time with your playmate. However, once Sunday rolls around, your mood (aka your whole personality) switches and you’re feeling romantic and needy—but your partner might feel like your games are getting old. Keep in mind that consistency is key and you can’t have your cake and eat it, too, when you’re always sending out mixed signals.

Mercury Retrograde always hits you pretty hard, and it’s likely that you’re still putting your life back together after a dramatic few weeks. Mercury’s antics are over now, but hurt feelings from any arguments or misunderstandings you and your partner had are still lingering around. Wednesday is an emotional rollercoaster—if you keep moodiness to a minimum this week, it can be super romantic. If not, watch out for a dramatic argument.


All weekend you’re coming out of your shell, meeting new faces and potential lovers. Getting down with someone new isn’t the move this weekend—you’re not usually the hookup type, so even if you do end up going home with someone, you lose interest pretty quickly, or keep things strictly PG-13. If you do feel a connection, leave your number! You can look forward to hearing back from your new crush on Wednesday.

This weekend you have to put your foot down! Your emotions are your biggest motivator and your feelings are fired up to the point that you have to assert your opinion on your flirtationship—whether you’re done or ready to commit, you’re determined to speak your mind. This week can find you starting a new relationship, if you’re ready. If you decide to part ways, you aren’t flying solo for long!

Your mind wanders towards the future of your relationship this weekend—start that conversation about moving in or getting married and you’re likely to hear the answer you’ve been waiting for! The warm, fuzzy feelings you and your partner get talking about your happily ever after heat up all week, and Wednesday is an incredibly intimate and romantic day—connecting deeply inside and outside of the bedroom is guaranteed!


Your coy looks are attracting hotties all night on Friday, but you’re not going home with anyone—you just like flirting for the attention! Finding your next hookup is more likely on Saturday or Sunday. This is an emotional week! If you catch feelings, don’t suffocate your new crush with tons of texts. See how the week goes. Wednesday is romantic and intimate—looks like you’re getting laid or going on date number two!

Friday night is for the girls, and you may as well leave your phone at home. You’re feeling independent and happily single—even if you’re technically in this flirtationship. Don’t ignore your boo too much this week, because by Wednesday you’re feeling uber needy and want to spend some alone time with them. Even if they do feel neglected, your natural charm is more than enough to entice them into spending the night!

You’re just doing you all weekend—not because of anything bad, you just have shit to do with your friends or on the job and don’t need your partner around for it. Mercury Retrograde put your relationship (especially the physical side) through the ringer, and the fallout is only now just beginning to clear. If you feel like sex hasn’t felt very intimate or you haven’t been connecting deeply lately, Wednesday night’s super romantic (and emotional) evening re-ignites that fire in your bedroom.


Whether it’s a casual hookup or first date, your Friday night fling ends up being way more intense than you expect! Such strong feelings are pretty foreign to you and you’re tempted to go your own way for the rest of the weekend, but as the week begins, you’re drawn back to your new heartthrob. Just because you’re crushing hard doesn’t mean it’s love at first sight—try not to overwhelm them with affection or you risk scaring them off.

Intimacy can be hard because you’re anxious and get stuck in your own head a lot. Hanging out with your boo leads to an especially passionate time together and you connect deeply. You’re usually the LTR type, but if you were at all unsure about committing before, you’re absolutely positive you’re interested after this weekend! You’re not known for your forwardness, but by leaving your comfort zone and communicating your desires this week, you can level up your relationship.

Mercury Retrograde’s drama is finally leveling out now, and you can patch up any remaining hurt feelings this weekend—and have some great make up sex, too! You’re usually all about being logical and rational, and avoid the emotional side of life, but the retrograde really cracked down on making you accept your feelings. With your newfound emotional competency, your ideas of romance and love take on new meanings this week.


Picking out the hottest face in the crowd and getting your flirt on is a breeze on Friday, and this astro-weather points towards you bringing them back home with you! The week starts and, honoring your flaky stereotype, you head out! Brief romantic encounters plus a quickie is typically how your love life operates. Your little affairs don’t have the emotional mess of a real relationship, but this week finds you feeling lonely. Resist the urge to ghost this person—you might regret it!

Aries season is all about your one-on-one relationships just like the flirtationship you’re caught up in. Whether you’re developing a crush or strictly interested in keeping it an FWB situation, things go smoothly in and out of the bedroom all weekend! However, any disagreements or misunderstandings about your relationship status can lead to serious problems during the week—serious enough for your boo to dump you.

Venus, ruler of love and pleasure, is your sign’s favorite planet, which is why you’re known for loving love so much. Whether your love language is quality time, gift giving, or physical touch, connecting with your partner is easy in every sense. But an increased workload or otherwise stressful week brings on the pressure—try not to crack when you’re with your S.O. because a fight or argument now can be especially harmful to your relationship. Instead, try to unwind with a much-needed bone sesh.


Work and class are your first priority, but once you handle business, the weekend is all yours to go on a date or find your next hookup! The atmosphere is heavy and intense once the week starts—you’re feeling romantic, uber horny, and passionate, especially when you encounter a dreamboat who’s equally turned on by you! Trust is monumentally important for your sign, but somehow you’re opening up to this new face without hesitation…which, woah, exciting! (But be careful and try to slow down, too.)

The roller coaster of emotions that is this weekends astrology is causing some signs to struggle, but you’re thriving, since the abundance of feels is being streamlined to your love life, inspiring romance and passion. Saturday and Sunday are the best days for one-on-one time with your boo, but once the week begins, the vibes change, fueling your sex drive—you want to bone! With the deep conversations intense chemistry in bed of this week, the start of a new relationship may be in the stars.

If you’ve been together forever:

Your sign has a reputation for being the most sexual, which isn’t necessarily wrong, when you should really be known for being the most inclined towards intimacy. Sexual intimacy is nice, but what really gets you off in a relationship is being emotionally entangled with your partner. This week (especially Wednesday) helps you combine the emotional and physical sides of your relationship. Sex feels more sensual and you feel more romantic with your lover. Your week, in a word, promises to be very erotic.


It’s Aries season, and the fiery vibes harmonize perfectly with yours, so you naturally feel more lucky and confident this Friday. Make sure you don’t stay out past your bedtime—the real world calls on Saturday morning and you have to spend the rest of the weekend running errands or working. If your latest Tinder match wants to meet up this week, don’t bank on it being a blast. Harsh energy on Wednesday can indicate being stood up or being majorly unimpressed with them IRL.

You need plenty of space in relationships. You and your partner can look forward to a nice dinner date or exhilarating hookup on Friday, but the rest of the weekend you decide to go at it solo. Flighty as ever, you’re in the mood for romance again once the week starts, but they might not answer your “u up?” text—the inconsistency is getting old to them. It could be a lonely week!

You’re the most optimistic sign by a long shot, and Aries season’s like-minded fire sign vibes crank your bright attitude up to the nth degree. Friday night finds you especially hot-and-bothered, and you have enough energy to go all night long with your partner! Life at home is finally becoming drama-free now that Mercury Retrograde is over, but watch out for one final oopsie (probably re: your shared finances and bills) on Wednesday starting another shitshow.


On Friday night you’re in the mood to stay in, relax, and unwind. If you’re feeling horny, you’re either getting off alone or inviting someone else to spend the night. You’re feeling more awake and eager for action on Saturday and are more likely to find a hookup then, although it’s likely that someone you’re deeeeefs not into is sliding into your DMs instead. Once the week starts, however, the likelihood of encountering a total heartthrob is high, and you can’t keep your new crush off your mind!

If you’re planning to Netflix and chill on Friday night, you’re not likely to find much action. You’re in a more romantic (and horny) mood on Saturday, however, so any time with your boo is time well spent! Your partner is crushing hard and wants to make things official, but commitment is a huge deal to you and you might not feel ready yet. It’s okay to take things slow! Just don’t shut your partner out, aka your usual tactic when you’re uncomfortable. Talk things out—you can’t go wrong with being honest.

Friday’s mood is initially lazy and calm, but the vibe speeds up as the weekend goes on, amping up your libido—especially on Saturday! Feelings are hard for your sign, so when your partner tries to be romantic this week, your reaction is to recoil or roll your eyes. There’s nothing wrong with being cute and lovey-dovey, but there is something wrong with sassing your S.O. for being affectionate. Try to open up to the more emotional side of your relationship this week.


Tinder matches and people sliding into your DMs are a theme of your Friday, but when your casual hookup tries to make a romantic move, you want to “nope” outta there and spend the rest of the weekend at home! As the week goes on, you realize that you might have fumbled a potentially good thing and your FOMO gets bad enough that you hit them back up. If you rejected their advances this weekend, don’t be surprised if you get left on read.

You’re texting your boo non-stop on Friday—and maybe throwing a few sexts in for good measure—wanting to invite them for an adult sleepover. If your plan works, you can Netflix and chill all weekend long, leading to a bright start to your week. You have so much fun together you can’t help but to want them around all the time, but make sure you’re both on the same page re: how serious your situationship is…you know what they say about assumptions.

Instead of going out for date night this Friday, you opt to just order a pizza and stay in. A slow, easygoing weekend leads up to a bright and high-energy start to your week, and you’re feeling (gasp!) pretty romantic and definitely in the mood to bone! There’s a bump in the road around Wednesday, however—your happy-go-lucky mood gets smacked down by old issues or forgotten drama that your partner brings up. Is it fair? No, but you have to deal with it anyway.


Others love how bubbly and charming you are, but you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. If your advances are rejected by that cutie at the bar, don’t let it ruin your weekend! The start of the week is low-energy and perfect for relaxing and recovering from your minor heartbreak, and love is right around the corner—on Tuesday, to be precise—in the form of a unexpected new connection. Before you know it, you completely forget the f*ckboy who curved you!

You’re drifting through life at your own pace as per usual this Friday, whether your partner is around for it or not. You’re more inclined to spend time with friends rather than your boo this weekend, and during the start of the week you need space and spend most of your downtime at home. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, which proves to be true when you do hit your partner up this week! Wednesday’s astrology makes date night feel like a fairytale romance, and the sex to follow appears to be equally special!

You’re the zodiac’s daydreamer, and you have a rainbow of colorful hopes and dreams for the future with your partner. If you never speak on them, they won’t every become reality! A talk about moving in, marriage, or taking your relationship to the next level happens this weekend. Your sign is notoriously non-committal, and these types of serious talks always make you anxious! Don’t worry, Pisces—taking your love life more seriously is encouraged by this week’s astrology. You’re on the right track!

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