Jana Kramer is opening up about a very difficult chapter in her marriage to Mike Caussin.
The singer, 36, spoke about the couple's past marital struggles during Sunday's episode of the Whine Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin podcast, revealing that her husband, 33, had actually filed for divorce in 2016 while she was competing on Dancing with the Stars and he was seeking treatment for sex addiction.
Reading a passage from her upcoming relationship self-help book with Caussin The Good Fight, Kramer said she found out about her husband's divorce plans through her manager. At the time, she and Caussin had been separated for weeks.
"Mike was in rehab and I was in an all-out war with my emotions. Most days, I would push Mike out of my brain and tried to live in the world as if he didn't exist. Other days I was too weak to push and I missed him, and I hoped he would be in the audience watching me perform, rooting for me," she read from her book.
"Regardless of how I was feeling, whenever he would call me from rehab, I would lash out at him and tell him I didn't want anything to do with him. I would hang up and realize that I had no idea what direction my life was headed in or what I should do. They only times that gave me calm was when I looked at our baby girl. I knew that regardless of the outcome, I wanted the best for her," she said.
After being informed that Caussin had filed for divorce, Kramer said she "called him screaming, 'How could you file for divorce? That's what I'm supposed to do! How dare you!' "
"He replied with, 'Jana, you won't let me see our daughter,' " Kramer described. "It's true. He had called asking to see her, as it had already been two months since their last visit, I was so desperate to keep close to me the one thing that brought me calm, that even though I knew it was wrong and could hurt him, I said he couldn't see her until I finished filming, which could take a month."
The One Tree Hill alum wrote that "a voice in my head finally spoke up in defense of this man and our marriage" in that moment.
"I knew what I wanted," she said, reading from her book. "'No,' I said to him, 'I want to try.' "
After that, Caussin said they two reconciled and began working on their marriage.
"There are so many days during the first year of our reconciliation, after the discovery of my affairs, when we thought, 'What the f— is going on?' Honestly, most days were like that," he read from another passage of the book. "Needless to say, many of those days were filled with pain and hurt and sadness and despair."
"But even throughout those days of misery, we were both still there," Caussin wrote. "We both continued to show up despite the fact that all it would take to end the pain was a signature at the bottom of divorce papers."
Later, while discussing the passage from the book with his wife, Caussin told Kramer that he "wasn't doing it as a game" when he filed for divorce.
"I was just forcing your hand," he told Kramer. "I was like, 'All right if you don't let me see my daughter, I'm going to do what I need to do to protect myself and see her."
"I get it," Kramer said, before explaining that she would've liked a warning from Caussin beforehand. "That's not what I wanted."
Kramer and Caussin wed in 2015 and share two children together, Jolie Rae, 4, and Jace Joseph, 21 months.
Their book, The Good Fight, will be released on September 22.
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