Party’s over, Boris Johnson… we’re pig sick of these porkies

LAST year. The grimmest Christmas since 1940. Lockdown across the country.

Government ministers lecturing us to socially distance and stay within our bloody bubbles.

No fun for you lot, you plebs.

Stay home, sit tight, shut up and do as you’re told.

And meanwhile, what did 30 to 40 of the Prime Minister’s staff allegedly do on December 18, 2020?

Held a lovely big party. “Champagne for everyone! Wine and cheese, dahling

What an absolutely delightful Brie!”

And a secret Santa where they bought each other prezzies.

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And when news of this gets out, what happens?

Boris Johnson denies all knowledge of it.

The evidence clearly points one way: He lied.

I mean, what did you expect him to do?

It’s a habitual thing with Boris, to lie.

Then we find a video of Johnson’s staff SNIGGERING about the party.

The party which Boris says they did not have.

He STILL wants you to believe he didn’t know about this Christmas shindig.

But that is a load of old Stinking Bishop.

It is inconceivable that his staff — up to 40 people — could hold a party and he be totally unaware about it.


No. It’s another enormous porkie to save his skin.

Now Allegra Stratton has resigned.

She wasn’t even at the party. But she did snigger about it later. She’s a fall guy. A fall guy for the Prime Minister.

Mind you, not to be outdone, a week or so before the No10 beano, that plank of wood Gavin Williamson held a party in the Department of Education.

Wine for everyone! And nibbles!

The DoE now says it would have been better if the party hadn’t taken place.

At a time when schools were shutting down because of Covid.

You’re not kidding, sunshine.

Maybe you think this stuff isn’t a big deal.

Maybe you don’t care either that the former Health Secretary Matt Hancock also flouted Covid rules while cheating on his missus.

That’s certainly what the Tories want you to think.

But all this comes at a time while a new variant of the virus is ripping through the country.


After a year of being lectured and hectored and bullied by the Government to do as they say.

Always do as they say — never do as they do. It is the perfect case of that old cliché, one rule for them and one rule for us.

So who now, with Omicron on the march, will take any notice of new rules announced by the Prime Minister to prevent the spread?

Why the hell should we?

We all know that as we sit there, masked up and alone, they’ll be cramming Camembert down their fat gullets, getting rat-arsed with their mates and groping each other under the mistletoe.

You can take the p*** once, Boris. Maybe you can get away with it twice.

But you can’t keep doing it. Week after week. And then brazenly fibbing your way out of it.

This is a serious issue. It is a resignation issue.

And it is yet more evidence of the incredible complacency and arrogance of this Government.

A government which believes it is above all the rules — and that what YOU think simply doesn’t matter.

'Alarming and peculiar'

THE BBC is making a new version of Around The World In Eighty Days, Jules Verne’s incredible adventure novel.

The lead character, Phileas Fogg, accepts a bet that he can circumnavigate the globe in 80 days. And he gets into one or two scrapes doing so.

Fun for the all the family? Nope – as I said at the beginning, “The BBC is making . . . ”

Lead actor David Tennant says Phileas Fogg represents “everything that is alarming and peculiar” about the British Empire.

"It’s a story, he says, that should “elicit little sympathy”.

He added of his character: “We’re showing a different type of stuffy Englishman.

"He’s very damaged, everything is a trauma for him.”

So not fun for all the family, then, at all.

Just the BBC doing its boring, hand-wringing, right-on stuff again. God give us strength.

North failed again

MORE than 30,000 people in the North East of England and Scotland were without power for almost a week due to Storm Arwen.

Some only had their power returned yesterday.

The useless electricity companies were offering customers fish and chips or pizzas.

No, they just want their power back on, you drongos.

Can you imagine if that had happened in the south of England? In somewhere like Weybridge or Virginia Water?

The power would have been back within the day or Parliament would have been recalled.

They talk a good talk about levelling up.

But when it comes down to it, they don’t give a monkey’s about the north.

Class bores again

I MUST say how much I enjoyed my visit to Durham University last week, where I had been invited to give a speech.

About 30 per cent of the kids walked out, of course. Before I’d started to speak.

So they had gone along solely to walk out. Which seems a bit of a pointless exercise, to me.

My speech was about tolerance, doubt and freedom of speech.

But they didn’t want to hear it and walked out. Hands over their ears in case they got triggered.

Isn’t the point of being at university the chance to hear views that differ from your own?

My main beef, though, is with the staff – not the children.

They are now persecuting the brilliant Professor Tim Luckhurst for having invited me.

They have absolutely no right to do so as they knew well in advance I’d been asked to speak.

Since last Friday I’ve had messages from teenagers telling me they wouldn’t dream of going to Durham any more.

Don’t blame ’em.

Human race is best

AT last the broadcasters have got together and decided never to use the word BAME any more.

It stands for “Black and Minority Ethnic” and, as it turns out, most “black and minority ethnic” people absolutely hate it. They feel, rightly, that it is condescending and insulting.

It groups a whole bunch of people together simply because they are not white. And treats them as if they were all the same.

Like almost every other race initiative from the liberal left, it is actually racist.

We need a new word to describe the section of our population formerly called BAME.

How about this for a suggestion? “British People.”

Eur a grinch

FINALLY everyone is waking up to the fact that the European Union is a nasty, dictatorial bureaucracy.

Yes, even French President Emmanuel Macron.

He is rightly annoyed that woke EU mandarins have tried to ban the word “Christmas”.

Pope Francis got in on the act as well, comparing the EU to a dictatorship.

Trying to ban such Christian terms amounted to “a fad, watered-down secularism,” Francis said.

“It is something that throughout history has not worked.”

Thank the Lord we got out.

Shaking in his shoes

I BET Vladimir Putin is shaking in his shoes.

Both the USA and the UK have warned the Russian president that he mustn’t invade Ukraine.

And if he does, we’ll be very, very cross indeed. And stamp our feet, and shout.

The most we’re able to threaten is a few more sanctions.

But Putin doesn’t worry about them.

One of these days we’re going to have to stand up to this tyrant.

Or Ukraine will be the very least of our worries.

Quote of the week

MY quote of the week comes from sociologist Frank Furedi.

He described the LGBTQI etc brigade as being: “The joyless puritans of the eternally expanding alphabet.”

Oh how I wish I’d thought that up.

Exception to the rule

NOT many opposition players are able to win over fans at The Den.

We Millwall fans can sometimes be a little bit, y’know, snippy.

But it looks like my Sun colleague Troy Deeney is the exception to the rule.

Given the regulation dog’s abuse all game, he scored a wonderful goal.

Then at the end applauded the Millwall fans. And said he loves playing there.

Cue a whole bunch of very uncharacteristically gushing messages on the Millwall fan forum.

Troy, mate – you’re a class act. And if you ever get tired of Birmingham, join us down The Den.

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