CRAIG BROWN: You’ve gotta roll with celeb spotters, Noel Gallagher… As the Oasis star looks back in anger about being seen in the supermarket
Odd to think that Noel Gallagher is now aged 56; odder still that he thinks people are disappointed when they bump into him in a supermarket.
‘They kind of don’t want you to inhabit the same supermarket queue as them, as they think you’re on a private jet with hookers, which frankly, is where I should be,’ he said recently.
He tends to get a bit shirty when people ask him what he’s doing there. ‘What the f*** do you think I’m doing here? I’m just f***ing doing my own shopping,’ he snaps.
Ooh-er. Only asking!
Perhaps they think he should be stacking the shelves. It’s always good to find former pop stars in gainful employment: a friend of mine who needed a sink unblocked at his home in Battersea was thrilled when the plumber turned out to be none other than Andy ‘Thunderclap’ Newman, who had a No 1 hit with Something In The Air many years before.
Craig Brown: Odd to think that Noel Gallagher is now aged 56; odder still that he thinks people are disappointed when they bump into him in a supermarket
Pictured: Noel Gallagher attends the ‘Moonage Daydream’ London Premiere
It seems an age since Noel and Liam Gallagher were in their prime. I struggle to think of any record of theirs since Don’t Look Back In Anger, which was released in 1996. That makes it 27 years old.
In 2023, we are as far away from 1996 as 1996 was from 1969, when Desmond Dekker And The Aces topped the charts, or as 1969 was from 1942, when Vera Lynn was all the rage. Time passes and celebrities come and go.
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Over the years, I have spied a number of celebrities in supermarkets, most of them more illustrious than Noel Gallagher, and I have never been disappointed.
In 1983, I was in a supermarket in London’s Fulham Road when it struck me that the man two ahead of me in the queue was Christopher Reeve, then world famous as Superman. I was thrilled, but I would never have asked him what he was doing there: even genuine superheroes need to eat.
The centre of London is as good for spotting celebrities as Clapham Junction is for spotting trains. A few weeks after spotting Superman, I was passing a video store, also in the Fulham Road, when who should I see through the window but Boy George, then at the height of his fame with Culture Club.
I was so excited that I ran back to my flat and told my flatmates. We all rushed back to the store, but sadly Boy George had already left.
There’s something magical about seeing a celebrity going about his or her daily business. One minute they are on television in miniature — and the next they have stepped through the screen, ten times their normal size!
Craig Brown: I was in a supermarket in London’s Fulham Road when it struck me that the man two ahead of me in the queue was Christopher Reeve, then world famous as Superman
Craig Brown: Not long ago, I was in a little bookshop in Chelsea when I glanced up to see Elton John reading a book opposite me. I wanted to say hello, but browsing in a book shop is a strictly private pleasure, so I stayed silent
I once saw Terry Scott — then the chubby mainstay of TV sitcoms, now more forgotten than even Noel Gallagher — standing outside Liberty in Regent Street in a big fur coat, looking rather pleased with himself. Ten years later, I saw Terry Wogan waiting for a car outside Harrods, looking self-conscious as all the passers-by did double-takes.
READ MORE – Christopher Reeve’s son Will Reeve, 31, looks just like his Superman father
I’ve spotted Cilla Black in a Covent Garden restaurant and Graham Greene leaving The Ritz by the side door and disappearing into the night. Not long ago, I was in a little bookshop in Chelsea when I glanced up to see Elton John reading a book opposite me. I wanted to say hello, but browsing in a book shop is a strictly private pleasure, so I stayed silent.
These chance encounters with the famous are always a thrill. I have twice bumped into one of my great heroes, Ray Davies of the Kinks. In 1973, I was travelling on the Tube when I spotted him in the next carriage, through the connecting window.
With the confidence of youth, at the next stop I leapt out of my carriage and into his, and began to jabber on about what a fan I was. He exited at the next stop: I suspect he just walked further along the platform to another carriage, for a bit of peace and quiet.
Forty-odd years later, a few days before Christmas, I spotted him in our local Suffolk Co-op, and queued behind him. When Ray asked the girl at the till where he could find a fruit-and-veg shop, I chipped in, giving him the directions.
‘Thank you very much and happy Christmas everybody!’ he said, with a merry wave.
With Christmas just around the corner, will Noel Gallagher make the effort to say something similarly cheery the next time he is spotted out and about?
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