My husband hid that he was applying for new jobs – now I can't trust him | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: IT was only when a recruiter called my husband while I was with him that I found out he’d been applying for new jobs without telling me.

I feel angry and upset that he thinks it’s OK not to inform me when this will affect me too. I wonder what else he’s keeping from me.

I’m 32, he’s 33 and we’ve been married for two years. I don’t have a problem with him getting a new job. The one he’s in doesn’t pay that well and he’s miserable. But at least it’s secure.

I’m worried that if he leaves for a new role, it will affect our chances of getting a mortgage for a new flat. Most of all, I feel hurt that he’s keeping his job hunt a secret from me.

The recruiter who called had clearly interviewed him. If I hadn’t been with him, I’d never have known. 

Am I overreacting, like he says? Should he have told me? I tell him everything and now worry I can’t trust him.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Perhaps your husband didn’t want to tell you because he was worried about failing, or disappointing you.

He hasn’t been deliberately dishonest, but it’s understandable why you’re feeling hurt.

Explain why you’re so upset. Tell him you’d like him to be transparent about things that affect you both in future.

My support pack, Looking After Your Relationship, should help. 

Offer to help him with his job hunt, so you feel included.


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